Monday, March 15, 2010

Just a Little Crush

7:52 PM
Most people have a “type” of person they are attracted to. Some are obvious, some less so. For example, one friend of mine has a pattern of dating guys who were over 6 foot tall and worship leaders. (This was funny because she’s like 5’4”). Another friend of mine found herself dating guys without jobs. (Thankfully, the man she married has one!) Some girls like athletic guys, and some girls like the artistic types. Well, I never really thought that I had a type, I’ve dated a wrestler, a software engineer, a nocturnal waiter, a community theatre junkie, and a radio DJ. But as I began to look back over my crushes, the guys I’m attracted to or just drawn to, there are some definite patterns. Three patterns actually…

The Promiscuous Pastor-types. That just sounds awful to call them, but wanting to sound clever, it is also the truth. I will begin by saying this pattern is thankfully in my past, but it was definitely evident in my life. These guys were really active in church leadership, and I served alongside of them. I’m sure my attraction stemmed out of my desire to do ministry and wanting to marry a man who did the same thing. Because I knew that I will be working in full-time ministry in some form, I had been looking for guys who also had similar callings. But I was young and naïve, and fell for lines that were just ridiculous. Although it took longer than it should, I broke this pattern. But a man who is following God’s call into full-time ministry [especially missions!], still makes me pause.

The Young Emo Abstinent Adults. And I mean young. Like 19. 20. 21. Because of my work, I meet guys totally sold out to the program that graduate from high school and keep volunteering with us, even through college. I’ll usually meet these guys at events, or through former students or something, and we’ll start talking about our matching TOMS shoes and love for Bon Iver and loose leaf tea. We have music tastes in common and general overall outlook on society. We’re all about service and fired up about changing the world. And, oddly, abstinent. That is very odd in our generation. For the majority of people today, dating requires sex. But not in my life. I know that sex is something I am going to save for my future husband. And nobody but him is deserving of that much of me. Maybe that’s why I’m drawn to this type of guy too. I want my guy to have standards and for him to be respecting himself enough to wait for me, just like I am for him.

The Beer-drinking, Bearded, Cigar-Smoking Musician. This is the kind of guy I see the most regularly. Because it describes ¾ of my church. (The other ¼ are girls). To me, these guys are cool and comfortable. They are passionate and intelligent. They are just as likely to quote from Will Ferrell’s Anchorman or Talladega Nights as they are from Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet or Soreen Kierkegaard. They listen to bands no one has heard of and find spiritual significance in everything. Add a few tattoos and a deep V-neck, and that’s my kind of guy. And I’m pretty sure this has evolved over time and the crowd I now hang with. I pretty much just described every guy at my church. I love that I attend a church that reaches so many men. For some reason, most men are less likely to attend church on their own. But not at my church. I think it’s great that I can be surrounded by so amazing godly men, married and single, that I respect and can learn from and encourage.

So those are my types. The types of guys, for better or worse, that I’m drawn to. More often than not I just end up with some good friends. Which is perfect for me right now. I hope marriage is in my future one day, but I am perfectly happy and content with my life status right not. As John Mayer says so eloquently, “Nowhere to go, nothing to be, I’m perfectly lonely”.

About the author

Joy Muldoon is a full-time missionary and part-time blogger. Read about her travels, adventures, and missions here!


melissam2 said...

Then again, I married someone who was absolutely NOTHING like ANY of my "types" - 17 years ago. Met in September, married in April. One more of those times I am so glad that "God only knows!"

Joy Engdahl said...

So all that to say, who knows what kind of guy is best for me. Maybe I should go on The Bachelor. That always seems to turn out so well...

amelia said...

So your list prompted some memories of your previous crushes :) Glad to see you moved past some of them! haha. Joy, you're beautiful, and I think you'll be swept off your feet forever someday, but I'm glad you're not standing still just waiting around. Love you!

melissam2 said...

The great news is that you're open to new, exciting things... and that makes you an awesome catch!! God will bless your faithfulness to His will!!

I swore I'd never, ever, ever marry a man with children... and now I can't imagine not having them, and their kids, in my life!

God's funny like that!

So glad you wrote this. It is perfect. : ] Glad I've been along for some of this journey.

Joy Engdahl said...

aww you guys are great!! thanks for all the love! it's going to be so funny to see what kind of man i ACTUALLY end up with. oh, life ;)

I personally hope you find you a little Cambodian man. : ]